I Came, I Saw, I Pooped!
The Viceroy Hotel Lobby Bathroom must have been designed by minimalistic masters of crapping coolness. A great bathroom here seems necessary considering the security is rude, the waitstaff is rude, beers are $10 and they refuse to let you jump in the pool naked. Here is how The Viceroy Hotel Lobby Bathroom breaks down.
Cleanliness: 9 - The Viceroy Hotel Lobby Bathroom is literally one of the cleanest bathrooms I’ve ever laid eyes on. The cleaning staff returned twice while I was there to empty the trash and tidy up. This was annoying because I was trying to take pictures of the bathroom without looking like some weird poop loving peeping tom. I deducted one point for the splashed water around the sink.
Comfort: 9 - If you can poop in a stall than you’ll have no problem pooping in these floor to ceiling full toilet rooms. At the Viceroy you can say, “Step into my office.” and mean it. There’s even a second wooden chair across from the toilet just in case you need some company. Even the urinals are separated by full walls to ensure the highest levels of penis privacy. I enjoyed the calm colored green tiles and the heavy wooden doors. If it weren’t for the staff constantly cleaning and the weird guy taking pictures this bathroom would get a ten.
X-Factor: 10 - Have you ever held your ding dong in your hand while staring at a decorative Victorian sconce? Well I have, at The Viceroy Hotel Lobby Bathroom! This bathroom had crazy mad x-factor. Everything in here is slick and modern juxtaposed against splashes of antique. It’s a great mixture of minimal and ornate. The sink is this weird ass square thing and right next to it is a lonely orchid whose presence makes you rethink your “single by choice” mantra. Silver wallpaper over green tile surround giant mirrors with sculpted molding. The lighting is low so you don’t have to adjust from the nightclub atmosphere of the hotel. Finally, check out the sign on the door. It kinda looks like the Versace face or some Dutch boy or some shit. Pretty dope, son. This bathroom is a dime piece.
See it for yourself: 1819 Ocean Avenue, Santa Monica, CA 90401 (They got a wall of plates in the restaurant, son. A WALL OF FRIGGIN’ PLATES!) http://www.viceroyhotelsandresorts.com/santamonica/?cmpid=GL_VSM
Send all bathrooms you’d like to see reviewed to RobChristensenComedy@gmail.com
